Thursday, April 24, 2014

If you were still here...

I would ask you... did you mother four children, keep the house clean, put a nutritious dinner on the table (and have time to research new and exciting recipes), be present in our lives AND have time to sew? did you have time to record all of the minute details of our childhood in great detail (with the most eloquent handwriting) for all four of us? did you endure those long days with multiple little ones with such so little sleep? Was coffee your best friend, too? 

...what gave you the greatest joy as a mom? ...and what caused you the greatest heartaches? (Besides age 13) you remember when you went to the grocery store for the first time with multiple little ones...and you felt proud of yourself for making it out with a cart full of groceries AND all of us?

I wish I could tell you...

...I no longer blame you (or anyone else) for putting sugar on my paci when my colicky self wouldn't stop crying. I now fully understand such irrational behavior. 

...I now understand your love of catalog shopping. There's something beautiful about not leaving the couch (with a cup of tea/coffee or wine in hand) and ordering clothes. 

...Not a day goes by that our kiddos don't know about you and the love you had for them-long before their time. 

...Moses refers to you as his "Grandma with Jesus". It melts my heart and yet brings me such pain. 

...Being a mom is such a blessing. I wouldn't trade it for the world. So much of who I am is because of you. 

...I appreciate you so much more now...for all you did back then. 



Jenni said...

Oh Em this is beautiful :) Love you!

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart, Emily. I think of you often and wonder how you swim through new parenthood without your momma to call at 2am crying because "I don't know what I'm doing!" I can see that you are an incredible mommy. Your mom would be so proud, and life with a newborn is chaotic, even if you only have one kid. It's a huge, steep learning curve but nobody knows your kiddos better than you!
PS as for the writing out memories....I type it quick on my phone with the date and spend time later when daddy is around to take over:)